If you are considering divorce or have been served with divorce papers recently, you need to know which steps to take in order to protect your rights. After all, when confronted with a divorce, people are often at the most vulnerable point in their life both emotionally and financially. The purpose of this article is to provide you with some guidelines and information that might be useful to begin protecting your interests. This checklist discusses measures you can take during the initial phases of a divorce and in preparation for a divorce. For detailed information regarding the divorce process in the State of Texas, please read The Divorce Process Naked & Exposed posted on the Garg & Associates website (www.smithgarglaw.com). However, before we get into specifics, it is important to understand that each and every divorce is unique and involves a number of different complexities. This article is no substitute for legal and professional advice. You should not rely on the content of this article without consulting a qualified divorce attorney such as the Texas divorce attorneys at Garg & Associates. The steps which follow are not necessarily in order of importance and are not all of equal weight. Again, it is important to consult a qualified divorce attorney prior to taking any action on the Divorce Preparation Checklist below:
| Hire an attorney immediately! Whether you are the person filing for a divorce, called the Petitioner, or have been recently served with divorce papers, called the Respondent, you should immediately hire an attorney. The divorce process, while seemingly straightforward, can involve a number of different complexities which, if not adequately protected against, can be extremely detrimental. It is important to understand that once a person files for divorce, regardless of which party files first, they are in a mode designed to protect their own interests and no longer has your best interests at heart. |
| Monitor your Credit Report! There are numerous companies which offer services to monitor your credit report. It is advisable for you to sign up with one of these companies and have a monitoring agency send an e-mail alert to you if there is any activity. Additionally, you might want to call all three of the credit reporting agencies and put a fraud alert on your credit report. Both of these steps will help guard against a potentially vindictive spouse. If, however, you already have negative entries on your credit report, you might need a competent credit repair attorney such as the credit repair attorneys at Garg & Associates to intervene on your behalf. |
| Start Gathering Records and Copies of Crucial Documents! As soon as you know that you are going to be pursuing a divorce or have been served with divorce papers, it is crucial that you prepare a detailed list of all accounts you have individually and collectively with your spouse; this should include both debt and equity accounts. The list should include the name of the account, the account number, who is listed on the account as being financially responsible, the balances, and the addresses and contact information for the creditors or financial institutions. In addition to compiling a list of these accounts, it is crucial for you to obtain a detailed accounting of recent activity on the accounts. If you suspect that your spouse has been spending money in a questionable manner, you should obtain a copy of as many statements as possible before they disappear. |
| Gather Copies of other Crucial Documents! In addition of copies of account statements and bills, you need to make copies of other crucial documents such as tax returns (last several years), Wills, trusts, marriage certificates, birth certificates, etc. You should also write down all applicable social security numbers and drivers license numbers. You will eventually need this information. |
| Open a Separate Bank Account! It is important, prior to the divorce process being initiated, that you are able to remain financially viable and that you have access to money in order to live and care of your children. Therefore, you should open a checking account solely in your name without your spouse having access to the account. This will ensure that you are able to pay your bills and your attorney's fees without substantial interference. It is important to note that timing is really important. Often, once the divorce process is initiated, Temporary Orders can prevent a party from performing actions such as opening additional accounts or withdrawing lump sums of money. Temporary Orders are orders from the Court used to control the parties prior to entry of the final decree. Your new account should be in place before any Temporary Orders are entered. |
| Store Your Valuables in a Safe Location! If you have valuables that you want to keep and are concerned about their safety, it is recommended that you get a safety deposit box and store them. After you store the items, you should inform your spouse in writing that you have obtained a safety deposit box and stored the itemized merchandise. |
| Transfer Some Money into Your New Account! Once you have opened your new account, you need to fund it with some money so that you can afford to live and pay your attorney's fees. The amount of money you withdraw from your community estate will largely depend on your particular circumstances. Therefore, it is hard to put an exact figure on how much money should be relocated to your new account. Regardless of how much money is moved, it is important to keep in mind that the money, absent it being separate property from an inheritance, a gift, or property owned before marriage, is community property. As community property, you have a responsibility to only pay for reasonable and necessary living expenses and attorneys' fees during the divorce process. As a side note, it would never be advisable for either party to leave their spouse without any money or means of support. That said, as a general rule and subject to your attorney's advice, relocating approximately 50% of the money available to the community estate into your separate account is recommended. After you have removed half of the money, it is recommended that you inform your spouse in writing of your action. |
| Be Aware of Outstanding Bills and Obligations! Even though you are in the process of getting a divorce, regardless of Court Orders partitioning debt temporarily, the creditors to which both you and your spouse are obligated still have a right of recourse against you and your spouse. Additionally, if you and your spouse are jointly obligated on an account, slow payment or non-payment can have a devastating effect on your credit, which can cost you thousands of dollars. Not only can your credit be injured, but you also can be sued by creditors in certain circumstances. Therefore, it is important to keep careful track of your outstanding bills and obligations. In some instances, it may be necessary for you to pay certain obligations, even if you are not ordered to pay the debt to maintain your creditworthiness. If you are in this position, your attorney may be able to recover the money you have spent from your spouse out of the community estate. |
| If you are Seeking Custody, Do Not Move out of the House (Absent Safety Concerns)! Again, every case is different. If you or your children are in physical danger, you do not need to stay in the house, or you need a Protective Order and/or an order from the court ordering your spouse to move out. However, if you are not in danger and you are seeking custody of your children, it is not advisable to move out of your house without the children as it may damage any chance you have of getting custody. By moving out of the house, you are potentially opening yourself up for an abandonment claim. That having been said, it is also not advisable for you to take the children, absent abuse, and hide them from your spouse. As parents, both spouses have equal rights to their children, assuming they are either their biological or adoptive children. If, for some reason, you have already moved out, you should move back in immediately. However, if you have been out of the house for an extended period of time, as always, it is important to consult with your attorney before moving back in the house. |
| Do not let your Spouse take the Children and Move-Out! If you are seeking custody, it is not advisable for you to agree to let your spouse move out with the children. Once you do, you are allowing your spouse to begin setting a foothold on the children's future. Courts are charged with doing what is in the best interests of the children and often it is not in the best interest of the children to keep relocating them, especially if they are in school. Therefore, you should calmly refuse to allow your spouse and your children to move out together. If your spouse wants to individually move out without the children, you should not interfere. |
| Cancel All Joint Credit Cards and Accounts! One of the primary horror stories you hear behind divorce case deals specifically with money, primarily with debt. Often times, spouses complain about the other spouse charging up current joint credit cards to their credit limit. To avoid these occurrences, it is recommended that you cancel all joint credit card accounts and joint credit lines. You should, as always, consult with your attorney and the creditors before taking this action. Prior to cancelling joint accounts, it may be a good idea for you to apply for and obtain a credit card in your own name. Additionally, prior to cancelling joint accounts, you need to inform your spouse of your intention. You never want to completely and without notice cut your spouse off without any means to support them self. Your only goal with regard to this action is to protect yourself. Generally, it is best if you inform the spouse very shortly before the cancellation to avoid any potential spending sprees. Having said that, it is important to realize that an account is never really settled until it is paid off in full. Often, it is a good idea to require that all outstanding joint debt be paid out of the community estate upon entry of the final decree. |
| Get a Cell Phone in Your Own Name and Get a New E-Mail Address! When you are getting a divorce, it is important that you be able to communicate without fear of the other spouse having records or access to your communications. Therefore, it is recommended that you get a separate cell phone (you can transfer your number) and get a new and independent e-mail address without an obvious username and password. |
| Stop Direct Deposits! If your employer has you on direct deposit, you need to stop the deposits from entering the marital bank account. You can either have a hard check issued to you or you can have the direct deposit redirected to your new account. |
| Stop any Contributions to Retirement Funds! If you and your spouse contribute to a retirement account, it is advisable to stop the contributions immediately. Any further contributions could be subject to a distribution which might be unfavorable upon resolution of the case. |
| Start Keeping A Daily Journal! When you are preparing to go through with a divorce, it is wise to keep a detailed, fair and balanced record of events. This record should include any arguments, times of visitation, financial transactions, drug or alcohol related events, and any information relevant to the divorce or the issues leading up to the divorce. Every entry should contain a date and a time. It is very important that you keep this journal in a safe place where it will not be read and/or examined by your spouse. |
| Do not do anything Dumb! It is certainly understandable to have an urge to drink or to seek revenge during a divorce. But, it is important for you to refrain from those acts. This is the time to step back and to allow your attorneys to work out the details and work as your advocate to complete the divorce process. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that you do not use alcohol excessively, use drugs, destroy your spouse's property, assault your spouse, or verbally/mentally abuse your children, in-laws or spouse. You want to be civil and come to Court with clean hands. |
| Get the Yourself and the Children in Counseling! From both a therapeutic standpoint but also from a strategic standpoint, if you are going through the divorce process and have children, it is advisable for you to put them in some sort of counseling to assist them with the transition. At the very least, if you are preparing to file for a divorce, you should independently contact the therapist, appraise him or her of your situation, and make some arrangements for future sessions. With regard to yourself individually, it is often very helpful to enlist the assistance of a counselor to help you with your emotional needs. As attorneys, we can assist you with the legal aspects, but on the emotional and psychological side of the equation, a different type of professional might be required. If you feel you need assistance, you should get help immediately and early. |
| Attend Substance Abuse Classes (if applicable)! If you have abused substances in the past and during the course of your marriage, you can anticipate that this will be brought up during the course of your divorce. Therefore, you should be proactive and begin attending substance abuse classes in an effort to heal yourself and in an effort to show the Court that you can be trusted, particularly when issues of custody and visitation is concerned. |
| Prepare for an Attack! As a good defensive measure, you must anticipate that you will likely be legally attacked by your spouse. Therefore, it is advisable to note each potentially negative rumor or fact, and be candid with your attorney. Together, you can prepare the best defense possible and minimize potential damage. Often, some of these negative rumors can be devastating such as allegations of spousal and/or sexual abuse. It is very important that you be totally candid and honest with your attorney as it is not possible for him/her to adequately represent you without knowing all the facts. It is important to understand that any communications to your attorney are privileged and protected, absent a clear criminal intent to harm a third party some time in the future. |
| Maintain your Mortgage!
It is important to maintain you mortgage and keep it up to date, regardless of
who ultimately pays the mortgage. It is very important for you to walk away
from your divorce with the mortgage in one name, not both. One of the ways you
can potentially deal with this problem is to sell your home. However, the sale
may not occur right away. It is possible for one spouse to sabotage the
payments and cause a negative impact on your credit score. You should be
cognizant of when and how each payment is made. If it is not possible to sell the home and you are forced to make joint payments, make sure the mortgage company sends you a duplicate copy of each statement. With regard to selling the home, it is very important that you place time limits and restrictions on how and when the home will be sold. As always, consult with your attorney before you begin this process. Finally, prior to the house being sold, do not take you name off the title. If you take your name off the title, usually via quitclaim deed, you are removing your ownership rights but you are not removing your responsibility for the debt with the mortgage company. In the event the home is sold, you might not receive any of the equity. |
| Address your Automobile Situation Immediately! When getting a divorce, usually one of the primary areas of concern deals with the automobiles. Generally, depending on how long a couple has been married, they have multiple cars and they are usually jointly financed. As with a mortgage, if the car is in both names, it is advisable to sell the car or to insist that the spouse who holds the car gets it refinanced in his or her name. However, refinancing is subject to the lender's requirements and may not be easily obtained. This can create a problem and can often injure your credit rating if payments are skipped or missed. Bad credit can cost you thousands of dollars over time. Also, as with a mortgage, if selling or refinancing the car is not an option, do not take your name off the title. Insist on a time frame to sell or refinance the car. And, make sure the finance company knows your mailing address and forwards you a copy of the latest statement and notifies you in the event of default. The most important thing to remember with regard to both an auto loan and a mortgage is that you need to protect your credit rating by ensuring the payments are being made prior to the final disposition of the property. |
| Do not quit your Job! During the course of the divorce process, it is important that you are financially sound, particularly when children are involved. Additionally, you have to have the resources to pay your existing obligations and to protect your credit. |
| Don't be afraid to protect yourself! If any domestic violence occurs, call the police and insist they come out and make a report. You might need this evidence in the future. Additionally, if you are a victim of domestic violence, take pictures of your injuries and keep any medical records related to the event. If your spouse is still living with you, your attorney may be able to get a protective order from the Court ordering the abusive spouse to move out. If the danger of family violence is immediate, this can be done ex parte (without prior notice to your spouse). |
| Know your spouse's business! Be familiar with your spouse's business, including his or her associations. You should know the name of the business or employer, names of business associates, and accounts the business has opened. |
| Keep track of all mail coming to your house! When mail arrives at your house, make a list of the sender and of the return address. It is important that you know the name and addresses of banks, accountants, stockbrokers, insurance companies, etc. If the mail is also addressed to you, make a copy of the documents and keep a separate file. |
| Make sure your Health Insurance is in Effect! It is important, prior to separating that you make sure you have health insurance in place. Getting a divorce can be both mentally and physically challenging. If a health concern arises, it is important that you are protected. In addition to making sure your health insurance is in effect, it is also advisable to get a physical to ensure you are healthy and to spot any potential problems. |
| Get in the gym! In many respects, a divorce is the ending of an era in your life. But, it is also a new beginning. It is a time for you to re-define yourself and to make a fresh start. You need to focus on putting positive influences back in your life and on health. The best way to do that is to feel good about yourself. So, get in the gym, walk, run, or do whatever exercise you enjoy. It will not only make you healthier, but it will also help you deal with some of the stress surrounding your separation. |
Anytime you enter the divorce process, there are a number of measures you can take to protect yourself financially, physically and mentally. This article is by no means exhaustive and is no substitute for proper legal advice, but it is a good start. A divorce is a complicated process and is very taxing both mentally and physically. You need to be properly equipped. The divorce attorneys at Garg & Associates certainly hope you never have to go through the process but we understand that we do not live in a perfect world and that about 50% of all marriages fail for various reasons. If you fall into this category, read this article as well as the many other articles on the Garg & Associates website related to divorce, and consult with a competent attorney.
If you would like to learn more about the causes of divorce and your legal rights and options, please call Garg & Associates, PC at 281-210-0010 or use our Contact Form.